Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
