omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
