k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
