I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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