well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
