I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
