i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
