in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
