Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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