So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
