Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
