I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
