i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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