I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Mom said you looked used
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
