it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
