one two three fourrrrnication!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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