Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
