lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
