i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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