soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
