life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Michael Bay diarrhea
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This house was built for laser tag.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
