Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
