It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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