found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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