I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
