Im at strip club and am horny
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just had sex on a roof
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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