Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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