My room smells like vodka and shame
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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