We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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