She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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