Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
