Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
