1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
