Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.