grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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