fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
