Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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