Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
