Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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