They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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