Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
