By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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