george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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