Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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