Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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