you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
