I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
