If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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