I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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