high people should be assigned attendants
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
