god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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