Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love having hate sex.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
