covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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