Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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