Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
