That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
